Monday, March 11, 2013

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

by Jane Clarke Myers on Monday, March 11, 2013 at 4:30pm ·

 " Thoughts on Today's Verse...
     As my heart delights in God, God's will, and God's purposes, I find an amazing truth at          work when I desire what God wills, God enjoys giving me the desires of my heart. An old hymn used the phrase, "'til I am wholly lost in Thee." When that happens, when our will is yielded to God and our heart delights to honor him, then God is longingly waiting for us to request the desires of our heart so he can bless us!
Holy LORD, God of our Fathers and great Giver of every perfect gift, thank you for longing to bless me and pour the riches of your grace upon me. Please touch my heart to desire your will and then to boldly ask you to accomplish it to your glory. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

Thoughts from my heart...
      The thoughts above were written by a writer for "Heartlight." This goes against what some people think, that as long as we are a Christian, believe in Him and following Him, whatever we want-within normal limits, He will grant us. I have struggled with this verse because I have desired a perfectly normal thing such as a happy  relationship/marriage with a Christian guy and yet God has not seen fit to grant me that lasting relationship. I do not understand why, especially with this verse, but I have come to the conclusion, that no one is good enough for me- lol  Just kidding. But perhaps, I needed to see that I don't NEED a man, that God has made me stronger than I think I am- or thought I was. And God wants something big for me that will only be filled as I am single.

    I do want to travel more to various countries. I have political views that are fairly strong and may not sit well with a husband. I want to write more, which might be put on the back-burner with a serious relationship. And I really feel for the Single Christian who has not been addressed enough in the church. Somehow, although there are so many activities for married people, adolescents/teenagers, kids, seniors (married or not), the Singles from 40- 65 are left out. I would like to help them and maybe could do that better as a single person. I'm getting off the subject, but the point is that we need to trust God in the midst of whatever we are enduring and believe that He is there to give us what He thinks is best for us. Trusting God, seeing His way is best is the answer. Our focus does need to be on Him and what He wants to do through us, not what we want.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Cleaning our Temple

          Things are happening all around the world: Natural disasters, like earthquakes in different counties to different extents- Haiti, Chile, and poor Japan, etc., tsunamis, esp, in Japan, tornadoes like in Missouri, and the South, floods in our Midwest, etc., and man-educed disasters, like bombings and now the debt problems, the overall downward spiral of morals everywhere, and abortions still continuing.

         I do believe the time is getting close to where Jesus will return for His Bride. I believe there will be the rapture of the Church, which will come without warning, so we are to be on the lookout for the "signs of the times". And the scientists as well as the observant person can see things are coming to a head.

      That being the case, we need to "clean our house". By this I mean ourselves, our minds/emotions. I am not outwardly doing wrong things but it is my mind that needs revamping. I am in the process of cleaning out fear, anger, bitterness, jealousy, unforgiveness, feelings of insecurity and low self-worth.

      How do I/we do that? It is not within ourselves but through the power of the Holy Spirit and the Name of Jesus! And His guide is through the Word and the quickening of our spirits through the witness of hearing God's voice deep inside of us (through the Holy Spirit), as well as through other people.

      Recognizing fear and anger and bitterness and low self esteem as what they are, not from God and definitely not natural, is the first step I believe.

     God loves me, He created me to be the unique person I am and to do His work. He wants me to be me and 1st to love Him. The 2nd then, is to see myself the way He sees me. He created me different from every other person on this earth. I do not need to have low self-esteem, I am just as important as anyone else. Reguardless of people who have put me down or who have hurt me, He loves me more than that. And the experiences I have had can be used to help others.  I need to really get that deep in my mind that He has good plans to use me. He wants the best for me and that is to be an instrument for Him to flow in and through..

      I have to know that I do not need to fear, that He loves me and will be with me and take care of me and my loved ones. Whatever happens in life, He is with me, I need to trust Him more and more. And in daily living He will be with me to bring me through. I may not know everything with my job, but He can work it out.

       Also I must realize that anger has no place to stay. It can rear its ugly head but it must not stay. Bitterness towards the past or to people is useless. I am who I am- they are who they are. If people have hurt me or just basically ignored me, they are sinners just like me- I don't always act the best towards people either. What they do may be wrong but I need to forgive for Jesus's sake regardless. He loves me and THAT is the most important. He loves me but He also loves the other people. And I need to love them because He loves them, to please Him.

      Friends that I may fear losing or have already lost- He has a reason for them being in my life at the time they are, reasons why they leave, and it is not my fault, ultimately. He has a greater purpose in mind. If I lose a very special friend- and I have lost several that have moved out of my life through death or through just moving and losing touch- He will never leave me. He wants me to depend on Him. As someone said, we are to hold all relationships loosely. If we depend too much on someone, then God may not want that. He wants us to depend on Him.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

This thing called anger

This Thing called Anger, with added thoughts

As a Christian, it is hard to share faults, but actually as someone said, "We are not perfect, just forgiven". As I strive to draw closer to God to hear from Him, He is showing me things more clearly that I need to get rid of. I am an emotional person but emotions need to be expressed in the right way

I realize that I have anger that is just under the surface. I am easy going and nice, maybe too nice, so that I don't let things that bother me out enough. Then they fester and sometimes come out in the wrong way.

I know that I shouldn't have anger, or that I should deal with it since it is an emotion, and let go of it. You need to deal with it, not just push it down. Anger, if not dealt with the right was, can lead to either depression, bitterness, or more serious things.

But how do you deal with it? The first thing is to find out what causes the anger.. Sometimes it takes some digging to get below the surface to find out the causes.

Sometimes we think we have dealt with something and it comes back up. Sometimes it is new things that come on top of other things you thought you dealt with. I have forgiven certain people and then they show up again doing things that cause me to get angry all over again. In my case it was based on past things that this person had done then taken liberties to do other things that might have seemed harmless but were an affront to me.

I was going to just share without sharing who or what but guess it doesn't make that much sense without explaining: My ex- husband left me when my children were 5&1/2 and 3 yrs old. He never was a father really after that- taking the kids out for a few hours here and there and then not at all for years. He was living a life definitely without God, living with a woman (there's more to that but won't go into it here) and drinking, etc.

Then comes the news that he has committed his life back to God. And now 20 yrs later he wants to have a relationship with his daughter and son. Thing is- my daughter is a missionary who is only home for a short time each year and each moment is precious with her. And my son is here but my ex doesn't try hard enough to reach him. He expects to be there for his time schedule. I could go on... and my family reaches out to him. I have been the one to do everything and now that my children are grown, he has come back to God.

Anyway, it has been extremely hard to get over the anger when he tries to act like everything is fine now. I was unemployed a couple times and struggled to keep things going for years and now... So, it has become resentment, and is hard to "get over" especially since also the Church is not there for me.

Here is where I have to look directly at Jesus and see that He does love me and these things are for a reason. And that just as He died for my sin, He also died for my ex's sin. Jesus' Grace is for ALL people if we accept it. I may be acting as the "Elder brother", but Jesus loves the elder brother just as much as He loves the Prodigal. I need forgiveness for my attitude as well as to forgive the one who has wronged me. What Jesus does in his heart is between him and Jesus; what Jesus does in my heart is between me and Jesus.

The one who comes back has missed out on all the years he was gone. I have had Jesus with me all these years even when I had trouble seeing Him. His Love is with me always. Now, I can forgive and can let go of the anger and resentment, because of His great Love for me.

Just as in this case, many times we get angry because we feel we aren't getting what we deserve for what things we have done. We do good things and they aren't appreciated. But the Bible says that "all our righteousness is as filthy rags". Whatever we do will never compare to what He has done for us and what He is doing through us. And He was put to death even though He did marvelous things. (That may be simplifying it but it is true.) And whether people recognize what we have done or not, it is God who sees.

The main thing is, why are we doing good deeds? It should be not to please men anyway, but to please God. And He is already pleased with us. As our Father He loves everything we do for Him or try to do for Him. Whether we give "a cup of cold water in His name" or risk our lives to save another's life, it is all for Him. So what does it really matter if we get the recognition here from men? It is from God we need to hear, "Welcome home thou good and faithful servant."

Another reason we get angry is because of fear down under, fear that we won't get notice or we won't get something we want. Or fear that we will lose something. We may feel this "something" is natural and not something far out, like a million dollars, but rather, people in our lives, or to have money enough to survive. And when we do feel we have lost something or someone, we get angry. I do feel I have lost some special people in my life and that hurts. We think we will be miserable.

So, it is fear of loss underneath the anger. Fear also is not from God. It is not based on trust in God, that He will provide either people or things. It is not trusting that He has the best answer for us. If we feel that we are losing things and people or life doesn't make sense, instead of getting angry at God, we/I should try to leave the situations in His Hands and leave them there. We must look to the unseen rather than the seen, that His ways are higher than ours. Someday we will understand it all.

I am still having difficulties with anger. I don't always really trust God, but am trying. I think that one of the biggest things to help me at least is to focus and refocus on God's love for me- I don't have to worry about what happens with anyone else. He loves me the way I am. I am trying...That's what it's about, trying, maybe failing and falling, but getting back up again. And lots and lots of prayer. and teaching and/or studying. With each trial, we grow closer to God and are a witness to others.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Desiring to be closer to God: A Song in my Heart

Desiring to be closer to God: A Song in my Heart

A Song in my Heart

A Song in my Heart

When I first was abandoned by my husband, leaving me with 2 small children, depressing and anxious thoughts would fill my mind, “How am I going to do this?” “What do I do now?” “How can I do this by myself?” and stark loneliness gripped my heart.

Although music has always meant a lot to me, the love songs were just too much for me to listen to. I was a Christian, but listening to hymns a lot didn’t really get to me. I then found a Christian station that although having mostly Southern Gospel (nothing wrong with hymns or Southern Gospel, they just really couldn’t stick in my heart), I would listen to it all the time. One of my friends introduced me to some Contemporary Christian music, including those by Keith Green. Those were especially good to listen to.

But then I heard a song that reached down into my heart like no other. It is called, “He Covers Me”, by Steve Camp. The song is about God covering us no matter what we have done or what we have gone through, that He is always there, covering us with His Love.

I would listen to it all the time, on the radio when it came on or I bought several tapes, wearing them out, then buying another one. I remember curling up next to the tape player, or later the CD player. And I was crying out to God to so fill my mind and heart. I had so many decisions to decide by myself, after praying. I also had so many things I had to do by myself as the head of my family.

I had to deal with all the things that come with raising 2 children and going to their special programs and getting them to school and going on vacations and dealing with various problems that they came up with. I also had to be the breadwinner by going to school myself and then dealing with my job and the people I worked with, juggling all these things. I faced unemployment a few times for several months or 1 year 1 time. That was a truly difficult time but we made it through.

I am still single- went through several relationships that didn’t work out and of course, that hurt me also-but my children and I made it through. And they are doing well. I have grown through the trials ever trying to follow God. Music has become even more a part of my life as I have sung solos or sung at nursing homes or singing when I could and with my church choir. And even writing songs and other things. Now my relationship to God is so much closer, especially through music.

I have realized that though back then I couldn’t feel His Presence a lot of the time, He was covering me. He was right there, right by my side and in my being, helping me through each thing I had to go through. I don’t understand why I never have met “the right guy”, but God has been becoming more and more a part of my life. And music has played a special role in my life, drawing me closer to God. Music has been a big part of my overcoming different things or teaching me different things. I have been using music in my work as well.

So, this song has been a theme in my life- this is the song that has meant more in my life, the life song, that He sings to me…

Monday, February 2, 2009

We are never alone

This is the most wonderful promise in all of Scripture after we have been saved. We are not alone! Jesus is always with us. He is there to provide comfort, support, love when we feel all alone; instruction, direction, finances, when we need direction.
As a single person it is hard sometimes when I feel alone in my struggles. But I am not alone. Jesus is with me. Sometimes it is easier to believe when I see friends around me, but He wants me to turn to Him.

It is an easy thing to say, to look to the things unseen, but it is hard to work out, especially when I see married couples say these things. But He has promised to be my sufficency. He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me. Some ways to get firmer faith in this promise is to meditate on the Sciptures, pray, practice the Presence of God, pray... Prayer that is honest and open, calling out to Him, is so important.

People need to realize that Jesus has come to forgive our sins SO THAT we could have a relationship with Him and He promises never to leave us. The God of the universe wants created us so that He could walk with us, be with us. When we sin, it hurts Him, it puts a block between us, but He sent Jesus to die and raise again so that we might have restored fellowship with Him when we repent and ask forgiveness.

I know that when I feel this veil between or disconnected from Him, it is my lack of faith, and it hurts me too. I know that I must come back to that relationship with repentance. And when I still feel bad about my lack of faith, I must realize that if I have repented then there is no veil and be thankful.

All He wants is true repentence and turning from my sin. He has forgiven and I must forgive myself. And sweet fellowship is reestablished as I seek Him.