Coming to a new understanding

I guess I am finally coming to a new understanding of the Truths that I have had trouble believing all my life.

I have learned a lot in my journey with seeking after God. I learned about doing good works or legalism. I have been bound up with legalism as if good works would help me to get on the good side of God. But legalism, following the law, tends to either lead to bitterness- "I am doing so many things right, why doesn't God change things?" or depression and anxiety trying all the time and never reaching the goal or being “good enough”.

We are to try to follow the laws but I think "sticking to the letter of the law and violating the spirit" is why we aren't given so many specifics. Being a Christian is accepting Jesus and His death so that we might have life, realizing that He paid the penalty. It is not about following laws because no one could ever get to Heaven that way. We are all sinners, no one is good enough to face a Holy God, because "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." It is by His Grace that we develop a relationship with Jesus and God and that we get to Heaven.

Our Christianity is based on a relationship with Jesus and being led by the Spirit. It is harder because there are not specific guidelines so we have to stay in close connection with God to follow after Him, to know what He wants. We have to spend time in prayer and Bible study and waiting on Him, listening, looking to hear from Him. And that is what He desires! He made us to have fellowship with Him, to have that close relationship, not to follow laws. He wants us to LOVE Him. That doesn't mean we should not obey the laws - just how we do that is based on following His leading.

Just a few ideas I am learning. I spent so much time trying to be "good" and do the "right thing" but ended up having bitterness. And I am coming to a greater understanding that I am free in Him, free to live with Him! "You shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free." free from the bondage of sin but also free from the bondage of legalism.

Jane